The Diary of Rose Weasley
by andyreadsalot
Summary: Rose Weasley finds herself on the edge of reason after beeing fairly hummiliated in front of her dream boy. It's even worse that the source of the problems is once again her long time enemy, Scorpius Malfoy.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fanfic and I'm really scared it would suck. It might seem boring in the beginning because it's in a form of a diary of an 11-year-old Rose but don't worry you nonexistant reader, the main plot is in Rose's sixth year in Hogwarts.

Also, English is not my native language so please correct me if I made huge mistakes. I'm hope the words 'suck', 'boring' and 'huge mistakes' didn't put you off, that would be quite ironic.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

**Chapter One**

Monday, 1 January

Dear Diary!

Today is my first day of going to Hogwarts. I was so excited when I got the letter. Stupid Albus kept saying I wouldn't get it because I'm a girl and girls aren't allowed. But when I asked him how did Mum and Aunt Ginny go he told me I was stupid and ran away. Ha. I know I'm not stupid because I read a lot of books this summer. I can now confuse Albus with some really long words like 'vehemently'.

Anyway, I am very excited. I have butterflies in my stomach and I am also scared I will be sorted into Slytherin. Dad told me I can't be and then Mum looked at him the way she looks at me and Hugo when we call Albus a stupidface.

I have to go now, Diary, we are leaving for King Cross soon. I can't wait to see the castle and everything. I hope it's as great as Aunt Ginny told it me it would be. James said I should watch out for The Great Lake because there are the Merepeople who eat humans. I don't know why they keep them there if they can kill us but I know I won't go anywhere near that lake, that's for sure.

Oh, I completely forgot to tell you! Diary, you are very pretty. You are pink and have fluffy covers with sequins on top. I hope to find a friend in Hogwarts, she would definitely like you.

Tuesday, 2 January

Dear Diary!

Hogwarts is wonderful! Everything is so interesting, I can't stop looking around. There are _Ghosts_ here, imagine that! Anyway, when we arrived, we had to drive across the lake! It was so scarry, I kept waiting for the Merepeople to jump out and eat us. But they didn't. Maybe someone asked them not to or they are on a vacation.

Oh, guess what! I was sorted in Ravenclaw! That means I'm really clever. Albus is not that clever because he is in Gryffindor. But Mum was in Gryffindor too and she is very clever. It's quite confusing. I just hope Dad wouldn't be disappointed, he said he would _disown_ me if I wasn't in Gryffindor. But mum said he was just joking. I was really scared at first because I didn't knew anyone in Ravenclaw but then this girl Amy Williams, who was sorted in Ravenclaw right after me, started talking to me and I guess she is my friend now. She is very frinedly and laughs a lot. I like her. Maybe I'll show you to her. We _are_ in the same dorm, after all.

I'm off to breakfast now. Did you know that food appears out of nowhere in this place? Wicked, right?

Thursday, 4 January

Dear Diary!

We had our first classes on Tuesday. I really like Transfiguration and our Professor, Ms. Bell. She is kind and her classroom smells like roses. I didn't like the Potions teacher, Mr. Poopface (that's what Amy and I call him). He is so stupid! He always yells at us. I should start wearing ear plugs on his classes.

Yesterday I bumped into that boy Dad was telling me about on the train station. His name is Scorpius Malfoy and he has wierd blonde hair that makes him look like a princess. He is also in Ravenclaw but I doubt he's very smart. When we clashed he looked at me very ugly and told me to watch where I'm going.

Saturday, 6 January

Diary, I will start calling you Jamie. I like that name and I don't like Diary for a name. Amy said I should give you a name for both girls and boys so that you can have two brains. Which is kind of impossible, since you're only a notebook.

* * *

Alright, first off, you must know I feel rather awkward writing this. Yes, Jamie, it's me, Rose Weasley. After five years of _you_ being stuffed in a box under my bed and _me_, well, having a life, we meet again. I'm sorry to admit but I completely forgot you existed. After writing the monumental amount of _two full pages _of text in you, you pretty much disappered from my life. Until I found you two weekes ago and was instantly amazed by the dullness of my eleven year-old self. Though I did laugh quite loud when I read about Poopface. I told Amy about it so we started calling him like that again.

I also let Amy read what I wrote about her that first day in Hogwarts. She was rather touched.

- Aw, mate. - she said – I knew you fell in love with me in the first five minutes. I mean, we are both aware that it wasn't your diary you wanted to show me, eh?

Quite odd, that Amy. But I know she was touched. Probably. The chances are really high.

Anyway, you must be wondering why I decided to start confessing to you again after five full years. I know you are. You are dying of curiosity, aren't you, Jamie-boy? Right, this has to stop. I start like this and before you know it, I become one of those people who lead fascinating conversations with their tosters.

Where was I? Oh, yes, the reason. As much as I hate his name, I have to tell you that Scorpius Malfoy is the reason I need to confide to you again. Only this time I wont be calling him a princess, he's much more likely to be called a prick. Because that's what he is. I leave you with this and am off to dinner after which you will hear all about the complete farce that is my life right now.


	2. Chapter 2

I can't believe two things; first, I actually got reviews for the first chapter and they were good (!) and second, I wrote chapter 2! I thought I wouldn't do it because I didn't like the story that much but I wrote it! And I have it all planned out in my head so that ought to be good, right?

I hope I used direct speech right. I never pay attention to it in books so when I had to remember the rules I was shocked with my irresponsible behaviour. I was supposed to be an excellent student!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Jamie,

I didn't have time last night to finish the story (Amy had litteraly dragged me out of the room because she's tired of me moping in there all the time.) so I brought you to the History of Magic. I hope you don't mind I charmed your covers so you look like a normal, black notebook. Your previous looks would definitely bring attention.

So, it all started a few days ago. It was a quiet Tuesday evening (2 a.m., to be more accurate) and I was sneaking out of my dorm to meet a boy. Right, I know what you're thinking. I'm such a disgrace for the female kind; lacking myself the privilege of sleep only to mess around with some bloke... It's shameful for anyone let alone an academic role-model like myself. (And these are not my words, our _headmaster_ called me a role-model.)

But, in my defence, it _was_ only the second week of the school year, we still didn't have much homework and I really liked that boy. Oh, that's right, I didn't tell you anything about him. Well, his name is Johnatan Alden, he's a sixth year Ravenclaw (_I know_, we have so much in common!) and he is absolutely dreamy! As I'm usually a very reasonable person, I never thought I could say or write something that cheesy about a bloke but he simply is! He has nice brow hair that falls in his eyes in that 'I just woke up' way but he pulls it out perfectly. He is also quite fit, very tall and has nice back... mmm, just thinking about him...

Anyway, after a year of considering him to be an appropriate partner (Alright, I was obsessed with him!) I finally decided to talk to him at the Ravenclaw 'start of the year' party. Encouraged by this strange and sudden feeling of confidence and presumption (it was alcohol) I approached him. I will spare you the details of our conversation because, well, I don't quite remember it but I do know for sure there was a lot of giggling involved. And that was just him!

Haha. No, not really. I am extremly annoyed with people who giggle so you can only imagine the shame I felt the next morning when Amy told me all about my moronic behaviour from the previous night. Yes, the dreadful thing has happened. I have become (*insert horror music*) _the giggling girl_.

Fortunately, Johnatan didn't mind it as much as I did because he looked for me on Monday and asked me out on a proper date! When I say he looked for me, well, he didn't really search the whole castle to find me. It was more like we ran into each other in the hallway but still, he recognised me immediately and asked me if I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him. He was so charming and had such a nice smile. No one could really blame me when I forgot how to spek and just gaped at him like an idiot. When I didn't say ANYTHING for a full bloody minute Amy had to jump in and rescue me. She said I had a sore throat and the school nurse told me I mustn't speak for the entire day. Quite surprisingly, Johnatan believed it! On the other hand, now I really did have to stay quiet for the rest of the day. Someone could've easily heard me talking and pass it on to him and then he would surely call off our date which would result in me jumping from the Astronomy Tower. Maybe.

If you're thinking of me as unstable, you may stop right away. As I have said before, I am a very poised person, I always had top grades and never caused any trouble. This was only a temporary condition of madness.

So, the date. It was just like I imagined. We talked and laughed (sure, I snorted once but it was because I was nervous and he didn't mind, only gave me a curious look) and he acted like a complete gentleman the whole time. It was wonderful!. He didn't even say anything about me being absolutely bonkers the entire evening. I mean, I spilled Butterbeer all over him and he didn't even make a fuss about it. To be honest, I think he found my behaviour charming. It gave a certain _je ne sais quoi_ to our date. Possibly.

Well, the Dream Date, as Amy annoyingly calls it (alright, I call it that) happened last Saturday and on Monday Johnatan found me in the common room and asked me to meet him there again on Tuesday, at 2 in the morning! It was so sexy, I felt like we were eloping! But, sadly, this very night is when all the trouble began.

I arrived to the common room a bit too early and as I walked in, I expected it to be deserted. That is why I was fairly shocked when someone called my name from an armchair across the room. (No w that I think about it, the already lit up fire should've been a pretty obvious warning sign.) The voice said, „Good evening, Weasley." and it belonged to, out of all people, Scorpius Malfoy. Argh, just writing his name makes me want to put my head in the oven. For the last five years we have positively loathed one another. We were always rivals in class, we insulted each other at Ravenclaw parties and in fourth year we even had one serious argument in the hallway. Just before we took out our wands, Poopface gave us both detention (That was my first and last detention and let me tell you, it was NOT pleasant at all. But then again, they're not meant to be pleasant, are they?) After that we refrained from further wand to wand conflicts satisfying with pranks and muttered insults from time to time.

That said, you can only imagine my reaction after seeing his stupid albino face that night.

„It's not such a good evening anymore, you git," I answered calmly, even though I was still a bit surprised.

„Now, now. There's no need to be so rude to an old friend," he retorted, a stupid smile all over his face. He always does that, seems so bloody satisfied with everything, even when he's arguing! I just rolled my eyes and fell into the nearest armchair, believing the conversation with Malfoy was over. He obviously didn't share my opinion.

„You know, Weasley," he started, „you still haven't apologized for ruining my potion last week."

That was quite unexpected. You see, I had no idea he knew it was me who replaced his dragon blood with a charmed bottle of drinking water. It wasn't anything important, I knew nothing dangerous would happen but I had to pay him back for tying my shoelaces together the day before. He was lucky only a few people were in the hallway when I flew over it, otherwise something dangerous WOULD have happened.

„ I have no intention of ever doing that, Malfoy," I replied, picturing myself tripping over and falling on the floor for the thousandth time.

„Well, I guess I'll have to ask Professor Grimms to persuade you then," he answered boastfully and I quickly turned my head towards him. Grimms is Poopface, Jamie! He was going to tell Poopface!

„You wouldn't do that." I wanted to sound confident but my voice was just ridiculously uneven.

„Oh, but I most definitely would," he grinned at me. Then, as if something came to his mind, he continued, „Unless... Oh, you would never agree to do that."

„To do what?" I asked instantly. Poopface had the worst punishments, I had to know my options there. He continued cheerfully.

„Well, if you want to know so badly," (I rolled my eyes.) „there's this girl I'm meeting with tonight. And she has become very clingy lately. I tried to explain to her that I'm not interested anymore but she is convinced I'm playing hard to get. As if I would ever need to _play something_ to get a girl," he smirked, clearly satisfied with himself.

I was, on the other hand, disgusted. „Get to the point," I said. So he did, and let me tell you, it was absolutely idiotic.

„I need her to think I cheated on her. And you are, miraculously as it is, a girl. Also, you're here, which makes it even more perfect for her to _accidentally_ walk in on us," he smiled like a moron while I just stared at him confused until I realised what he was implying. My eyes broadend with consternation as I concluded that, unless I wanted Poopface to find out, the only remaining option was playing Malfoy's bloody mistress of sort! I decided to protest.

„There is no chance in hell I would ever do that," I responded. „Even if I didn't find you utterly obnoxious, I would still have a date tonight." Now it was _my_ turn to be pleased with myself.

„A date? That's what you're here for?," he asked, a bit _too_ surprised, may I add.

„Well, what in the name of Merlin's beard would I be doing here in the middle of the night, fully dressed, if not for a date?," I asked rather crossly.

„I don't know, I thought you came to study or spy on me," he shrugged. „We both know you're obsessed with school and myself." I opened my mouth to protest against this calvish remark but he continued, „Of course, the 'fully dressed part' also confused me a bit, seeing as my dates are usually fully _undressed_ ," he grinned widely at his, apparently funny statement. Since I was gifted with an _actual_ _brain,_ I remained serious.

„Though I was enjoying this conversation, I am meeting someone in a few minutes so I will ask you to kindly shut up now," my voice was much more confident now. „ And you can forget about that little plan of yours. You might as well tell Grimms all about it, he wouldn't believe you anyway," I sneered at him.

Malfoy simply raised his eyebrows as if he was amused by something. „But he would believe the witnesses, wouldn't he? There were a lot of girls who saw you replacing the ingreedients."

Oh, bollocks! I forgot about his fan club of hair-swooshing girl-idiots. Amy and I call them Nauseating Clones because that is what they are. They are always secretly following Malfoy around (and they are doing it _so well_ that the whole school knows about them), applying lip gloss and laughing like Swedish prostitutes (I honestly don't know where this came from!). They have mastered the art of giggling to the point it's not even funny anymore. I can't believe someone could act so transparently pathetic because of a boy. It's truly demeaning for women. Also, they would go hopping to Grimms's office in no time.

Understanding this, my face fell and that's when Malfoy stood up. He crossed the room in a few long steps and stopped in front of me.

„I really can't see what _you_ have to camplain about," he thought out loud. „We both know you're secretly in love with me." My mouth made an 'O' of surprise but he went on, „Also, I would obviously be the one who's lowering his standards."

Well, this was simply too much! I quickly stood up and went for a punch in his shoulder but he took my wrist in midair and stopped me, grinning widely once again. Then he grabbed my other hand and –and you _won't believe_ this - put them around his neck.

„What the...?" I started, trying to pull away but his grip was too strong (not the athletic type, myself).

„Shh, I hear footsteps," he whispered, throwing a glance at the door. There really was someone outside. „It's her, I recognize that walk," he smiled again and then he leaned in closer to me.

I don't know if he was just trying to make it look like that for his limpet girlfriend or he was _actually_ trying to kiss me but I can tell you I wasn't happy with it! Fortunately, he failed in the attempt because just then the door opened and we both looked toward them. My hands were in a weird and uncomfortable twist around his neck and he was still holding my elbows so I couldn't let go. Little less fortunately, the person standing at the door wasn't one of Malfoy's usual tarts, it was Johnatan! Sacre bleu!

I feel strange now. It's too quiet in the classroom. Oh, the Professor is standing up. Why is he looking at me? Why is everyone looking at me? Oh, shit.

* * *

I had to cut the story in half because it was way too long for one chapter. The rest is coming soon. Probably. If anyone cares. It'll help if you review :D


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks everyone for the reviews!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (Well, it's kind of strange saying I own nothing because I did write it, right? Ah, nevermind.)

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Jamie, you got confiscated! Yes, apparently professors don't approve when students write diaries during class. But don't worry, he couldn't read anything. My mom has taught me some pretty nice tricks this summer and voilà! – ink visible only to the writer! Still, I had to leave you in Professor Notton's cabinet for the whole day! And I know _I _wouldn't want to be stuck with that! It's as if that room was cursed never to smell fresh again.

But I shouldn't be wasting valuable time on this! You are surely dying to know what happened next in the common room. (And even if you're not... well, why stop now, eh?) So...

Johnatan's cheeks got a bit flustered and he definitely didn't look pleased (to be honest, I found that quite satisfying...Oh, along with the shame and horror, of course!).

''Alright,'' he said calmly but it didn't match with his facial expression. I quickly pulled my hands away from Malfoy and moved towards Johnatan.

''I know they always say it like that,'' I said quickly, ''but it wasn't what it looked like.''

''What was it then?'' he asked while crossing his (quite nice) arms across his (also quite nice) chest.

''Um,'' I replied very eloquently, '' Wooh. You see, Malfoy's... I mean, Scorpius's girlfriend has just broken up with him so I was comforting him.'' You might think that I should've told the real story but Johnatan would never believe that (not with Malfoy standing there looking all innocent) and I would still get a detention from Poopface (I seriously need to stop calling him that!). So I told the first lie I could've come up with, not turning around to see Malfoy's reaction.

''But you told me you hated him,'' Johnatan was confused.

''Rose, how could you?'' Malfoy gasped behind me. I turned around only to see him holding one hand over his heart while his face showed the incredible look of disappointment and pique. Dear heavens.

I quickly turned back to Johnatan. ''I do hate him.''

''Always makes a man feel worthy, doesn't she?'' Malfoy sighed again but I ignored him and continued, ''It's just that he was so broken that had to give him _some_ consolation.''

Johnatan didn't believe my idiotic story and I couldn't blame him at all. But what happened next, well, it completely shattered any chance of explaining myself that I possibly had left. Through the massive door and in the most inconvinient time, Samantha Lisbon had walked in the room. (And I still don't understand how she managed to slove the riddle!) When she had noticed us, she completely froze (Please note that this could be taken literally because she was seriously underdressed for a chilly night like that one. Compared to her, I looked like an Eskimo.) and then she pried at the three of us, slightly shifting her head in even intervals when she moved to the next person. We silently stared back at her. Now that I think about it, this group goggling session had lasted ridiculously long until Johnatan asked, ''And who are you?''

Somewhere near me, Malfoy muttered, ''This should be interesting'' but I was the only one who noticed.

Simultaneously, being the idiot-girl she is, Samantha proudly beamed, ''I'm Scorpius's girlfriend.''

''I thought you broke up with him,'' Johnatan was confused again. You know, I always thought boys liked girls who made them confused. Guess not.

''Wh-whaat?'' Samantha stuttered. ''Scorpy, what is he talking about?''

I had to show a lot of will power to prevent myself from making gagging noises when I heard this. Scorpy? Really? I'm sure even Malfoy found this embarrasing.

''It's a bit late for tricks like this Rose, don't you think?'' Johnatan got my attention at once. I opened my mouth to say something but he kept talking, ''I'm going back to bed now. Please don't bother me with any more made up stories.''

And before I could say another word, he was gone. I'm slightly unsure of what happened next but I know I was soon yelling really loud at Malfoy. The Blonde Limpet obviously had a problem with my bahavior toward Scorpy because she shouted, '' Hey! Don't talk to him like that!'' and went to put her arm around him protectively. ''He didn't do anything to make you-''

''Please stop talking.'' I had to quiet her down, she has one of those annoying Barbie voices. Then I turned back to Malfoy, ''And you!'' I shouted again, ''You will be sorry you did this.''

''I'm completely terrified,'' he replied calmly and then faked a yawn. Aargh! It's even more annoying that Samantha actually looked up at him, WORRIED!

Knowing that words don't work on Scorpius Malfoy, I simply kicked him below the knee with my foot as hard as I could. He made a painful expression and that was the last thing I saw before I turned around and walked to the door, followed by one of Samantha's ''Hey!'s''.

Now, you're probably thinking that this story is over. Alas, it isn't! Actually, the very next day things got much, much worse. You know how they say you need to wait for the morning to start solving a problem because if you sleep through it, it will seem easier? Well, whoever had said it, he was WRONG. That Wednesday morning I felt like a load of poo and nothing seemed easier. Actually, it seemed much worse and even more complicated.

The only fortunate circumstance was that Johnatan wasn't in class that day (I think he mentioned a family meeting when we were in Hogsmeade) because I had no idea what I would say to him. To Malfoy, on the other hand, I had plenty to say (and I must confess, not everything was within the limits of decent vocabulary).

We had a Herbology lesson first and I have wasted an entire hour planning the perfect way to get even with him, but as soon as the class was over, he disappeared. This happened again after the second and third period. Yes, he was cowardly avoiding me! But, as you could've expected, I was smart enough to catch him off guard. (However, this _oh-so-grand_ intellect of mine did not show up in the near future, as you will soon find out.)

Just before lunch we had Transfiguration and, as Mrs. Bell loves me, she let me leave the class early because of my alleged headache. I waited in front of the classroom and, just as I thought, Malfoy was the first person at the door. The bell hasn't even stopped ringing and I was already dragging him to the nearest passageway.

''Look, I know you want me badly but this is a bit too sudden, don't you think?'' Malfoy sneered as I walked, pulling him with me by the sleeve. As soon as we reached the archway I turned to face him.

''Listen, you bloody prat,'' I huffed ''You will find Johnatan first thing tomorrow morning and explain everything, understood?''

He waited a few seconds, his head slightly tilted as if deep in thought but other than that, his face was unreadable. Suddenly he grinned at me, ''Sure thing, Miss!'' he nodded, ''And after that I'll go eat a pile of glass because that is, besides explaining myself, the thing I do most often.''

I turned red again. (I know because there was a mirror behind him.)

''Stop joking around,'' I snapped at him. ''I will seriously do something painful to you,'' I threatened, lowering my voice. Malfoy, being a complete tosser like usual, started laughing.

''What are you going to do?'' he snorted, ''Take off your clothes and force me to watch?'' He had another laughing fit and, as I waited for him to finish, my face turned the same colour as my hair (very, very red). Not even thinking, I took out my wand . He didn't seem frightened by my move. Instead, he calmly took his own out of the inner pocket of his school robes and said cheerfully, ''You really don't wan't to go into this sort of thing with me.'' Arrogant git.

''And _you_ should stop underestimating other people so much,'' I replied, poking him in the chest with my index finger (I didn't have a knife). He slowly looked down at his torso and I quickly pulled my hand away.

''You _know_ I'm better than you in Charms,'' he said matter-of-factly and his calmness was really starting to get on my nerves.

''Actually,'' I dissuaded coldly, ''What I _know _is that you are just a sad, lonely boy, desperately seeking attention and hoping it would be enough to make up for your lack of real friends and true talent.''

I don't know why I had said that, it obviously wasn't true. I mean, as much as I try to ignore the facts, he does have real talent. Also, and this has absolutely no sense at all, he has friends too. Lots of them. Actually, he is what someone would call _the popular boy._ I guess I just wanted to be mean to him. Whatever the reason was, I had no time to evaluate his reaction because he simply raised his wand, pointed it to my face and muttered a spell I didn't recognise. Nothing happened, except for a strange tickling above my upper lip.

''And _you_,'' Malfoy chortled, ''are going to regret your words in one, two...'' Then he stepped aside so that I could see my reflection in the mirror. And as he jubilated a loud, ''Three!'' I realised that:

HE GREW ME A BLOODY MOUSTACHE !

I am not making this up! He made me grow a thick layer of hair in the middle of my face, usually known as a moustache. Bloody hell!

As I let out a loud, disbelieving shriek, afraid to even touch the horrible sprout of hair on my face, Malfoy nearly choked with laughter. Probably because I looked like a French circus freak!

''Make it go away, NOW!'' I shouted at him. He didn't. As a matter of fact, he just wiped the happy tears from his eyes and looked at me satisfied, like he was admiring his own piece of art.

''There's no need to be upset, Magnum,'' he grinned. ''It's the hottest look this season.''

And, Jamie, I just couldn't help it; I did a very, very bad thing. In fact, I did something so bad and shameful that even _you_ would be disgusted! I can't even tell you what it was. I must spare you the horrible truth.

...

Oh, but I can't do that! I have to tell you! You put up with me so far, you deserve to know everything. So, here it goes...

What I did was... Well, I raised my wand and, since _I am_ the best in Transfiguration, I tried the first spell that came to my mind. And the result was... Um, I kind of, sort of, well, turned Malfoy into a squirrel. I know, I know! I wish I haven't but I did! (And, if I wasn't so ashamed of myself, I would say I did a flawless job.)

So, I just stood there, gazing at Malfoy the Squirrel and he gazed back at me. Furtunately, it didn't take too long for my brain to start functioning again so I quickly picked him off the floor.

''Oh, Merlin I'm stupid,'' I sighed and tried to come up with a way to fix this. I must have clenched Malfoy too hard because he suddenly bit my finger. (Now that is a sentence I thought I could never write.) I squealed and gave him a nasty look but didn't let him go. He would surely run away and get lost somewhere in the castle and I would be accused of murder! Sacrè bleu!

But, being a brainstormer I am, I realised that Professor Bell's cabinet was only a few feet away. She would surely know what to do. I tucked Malfoy the Squirrel under my robes, ran towards the door, knocked twice and, after a voice told me to come in, I pulled the doorknob.

Mrs. Bell had just been sipping her tea when her eyes fell on my face. Then she choked and spat the tea right into the cup. Yes, I completely forgot about the whiskers.

''What happened to you?'' she asked after a few coughs, completely taken aback. Malfoy the Squirrel was fidgeting inside my cloak.

''It's nothing,'' I answered quickly. ''Actually, my main problem is this,'' I went straight to the point and pulled Malfoy out in front of her. She looked at me with curiosity.

''Is it your new pet?'' she asked politely and I got the feeling she thought of me as a bit mental.

''No,'' I shook my head. ''Um... Well, this is actually a student,'' I nearly whispered, turning red again. Mrs. Bell's face was litteraly radiating with shock.

''Wait a minute,'' she said like she couldn't believe what I was saying. ''This... This is a person?''

''Yes.'' I was looking at my shoes. ''It's Malfoy, Professor.''

''And you did this to him?''

''Yes.''

''But... but how? We didin't learn this kind of magic in class yet,'' her voice became much more relaxed. By then I realised she wasn't really mad but rather amazed.

''I read this spell in one of my mother's books,'' I told her. ''I thought it wasn't going to work.''

Suddenly, Malfoy the S. Bit my finger again. I can't blame him, not really.

''Um... Could you please turn him back to human now?'' I sent her a pleading look and she quickly stood up, ''Of course, of course! Just put him on the floor.'' She pointed her finger to an empty space in the middle of the small and tidy cabinet and I did what I was told. Malfoy the Squirrel started running in circles like he was on some kind of drugs. Mrs. Bell lifted her wand, aimed the furry creature and pronounced an unfamiliar spell.

We both watched as the squirrel started to stretch in height, her hair growing back into her body, and then spun wildly until it became just a dark blurry whirlpool in the middle of the room. In a few seconds the spinning has slowed down and the real Scorpius Malfoy was standing in front of us. His clothes were ruffled, hair untidy and his face bewildred and not in it's usual state of smugness.

The three of us were quiet for a few seconds but then Malfoy broke the silence. ''You are mental!'' he snapped at me, completely forgetting a Professor was standing there with us. ''Why the hell did you do that?'' he yelled. Maybe I should buy him a gift certificate for a self-control course.

''Well, why did you do this to me?'' I asked and pointed to my face, reffering to it's unusual hairiness.

''Oh, give me a break – ''

''STOP!''

We both turned to Professor Bell who looked awfully angry now. ''Are you,'' she began. ''Are you saying you did this, this foolishness _on purpose_?'' She was flushed with anger.

''I am honestly sorry, Professor,'' I started but she raised her hand to silence me.

''You will both have detention until the beginning of the winter holidays.''

Malfoy and I both protested but she cut us off. ''This kind of behaviour is simply unacceptable,'' she said firmly. ''You,'' she looked at Malfoy ''are being punished for starting this nonsense and behaving like a kindergarten child.'' Then she turned to me, ''And you are punished because something could have gone seriously wrong and I don't even want to begin thinking about the possible consequences.''

I was completely ashamed. Professor Bell was and still is my favourite teacher. I know everyone says it's not important what professors think about you but her opinion means something to me.

''Come here tomorrow after your last lesson and I will give you your assignments,'' she finished coldly. ''You may leave now.''

We both greeted her and went for the door. Then she called my name. I quickly turned around and looked at her. She raised her wand and for a moment I was convinced she was going to hex me but instead I just felt the same strange tickling above my lips. I touched it with my fingers and there was only my skin, no sign of a moustache. I thanked her but she didn't look at me so I knew I should leave. As i walked out of the cabinet I realised that Malfoy had already disappeared. I didn't talk to him until the next day when we went to find out what our punishment was going to be. Actually, now that I think about it, we haven't spoken to each other even then. Not even a nice, polite 'Hello'. No, we just walked in and listened as Professor Bell told us that we will have to – and this is not a joke – clean _every_ classroom in the school and polish every medal or cup the school has ever won. She told us she wanted to give us more tasks but she had to leave something for other students. Pffh!

And now we're here. It's Saturday and also the first day of my detention with Malfoy. I feel like a total wreck. Not only that I have embarrased myself and my family but Johnatan also won't speak to me. Bloody hell, I'm sure even Malfoy won't speak to me! Not that I care about anything he will or won't do. Sodding git!

But on the bright side, Amy had just told me how she went to see Poopface about her homework and when she walked in his cabinet he was standing in front of the mirror, checking out his biceps (which he doesn't own). Amy couldn't stop herself from laughing so she just ran out without saying anything. Top girl.

If Malfoy doesn't kill me in the meantime or I expirience a death caused by excessive cleaning, you will hear from me tommorow.

-Rose

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Hope you liked it! Byee!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: It's been a while since I published but I made up for it by writing an extra long chapter. **

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Chapter 4

**Sunday, September 19th**

**12.15 a.m.**

Jamie,

(I started writing dates and time, did you notice? I think you deserve to know the circumstances.)

First off, I must tell you that yesterday was a DISASTER! It went even worse than I imagined and I had some pretty bad shit in my mind. We might call yesterday's evening; 'How Scorpius Malfoy annoyed the hell out of Rose Weasley'.

He tried hard right from the start because he was 25 minutes late! Come on! I mean, we LIVE in this school; it wasn't really the longest journey ever. But when I mentioned the problem to him, he went all rude and sarcastic, ''Yes, we live here, but some of us actually have a _life_.''

Oh, ha ha ha. I have a perfectly decent life, thank you very much. The fact that I haven't physically bonded with nearly half of the male student body does not make me antisocial or boring. I told him that too.

He smirked, ''No, but your personality does.''

What is the matter with him? Ok, so I turned him into a squirrel, big deal. He is being so annoyingly cross about it.

But this was just the beginning. We decided to start with the cleaning in the left wing so we went to the broom closet, got some mops and sponges and brooms and so on. Just when we were supposed to start The Spoiled Brat said he wouldn't do it. Apparently, _he was not made for this kind of thing._

What? I have never met a more aggravating person in my life. I literary had to _teach_ him how to clean. Unbelievable. When I told him to carry the brooms he asked, ''Is it really the best time for Quidditch?''

Seriously.

So it ended up with me doing all the work and him complaining and spilling things (I think that was on purpose.)

But then, when we were in the third classroom, something curious happened. While I was washing the windows and he was pretending to clean the desks, he suddenly said, ''You know, when you turned me into that foul beast, '' Squirrel. A foul beast, really? ''I could still see and hear everything.''

That didn't sound good. As a matter of fact, he had his 'evil in disguise' voice on. I stopped mopping for a second but I realized it was better not to show worry.

''So what?'' I asked in a bored voice.

''Well, I think you were right when you called yourself stupid,'' he said. ''Admitting the problem is the first step towards solving it.'' Very funny.

''Then you must call yourself an irritating manwhore every day,'' I smiled at him (a fake smile, just to be clear).

''There's nothing wrong with experience,'' he shrugged. ''But I was actually talking about that time when you _oh-so-innocently _shoved me in your shirt.''

The sponge fell out of my hand and I couldn't help but glare at him. ''You have got to be kidding me,'' I uttered.

''Oh, please. I know you did it on purpose. It's called 'presenting'. You had to show your womanly parts, '' he looked at me with pity (pity!) and continued, ''But I wanted you to know that I'm still not interested. Though I'm sure you'll find someone special eventually.''

Now I knew he was messing with me. Even if it weren't for that annoying little smirk around his ugly mouth I would know a sentence like that could never pass over his lips.

''You are without a doubt the most unpleasant person that walked the Earth, did you know that?'' I peered at him while crossing my arms over my chest.

''As long as you're not being too dramatic about it,'' he winked at me and then added in a serious voice, ''Now please stop distracting me from work. You really _are_ a slob.''

I let out a shriek of disbelief but he ignored me and kept pretending he was dusting!

How will I be able to survive this? How? He is so full of himself and so bloody convinced he somehow owns the world. Or, you know, at least half of it.

And he still doesn't plan on telling Johnatan the truth. I asked him about it when we were done for the day and he laughed in my face.

''Why would I do it? Do you have something to offer me in return?'' he threw me a creepy smile.

''You're disgusting,'' I frowned and, as if he'd been expecting that, he shouted, ''I didn't mean that! Why are you so obsessed with me in a sexual way? I told you already, I won't go out with you!'' he finished quite dramatically and I didn't understand why he was doing that until I noticed a bunch of girls passing by. They all started laughing and once they were out of sight Malfoy's usual sneer appeared too. Great. Now he made me look like some pathetic fan girl.

Fan girl or not, I realized there's no point in trying to persuade him to do anything. So I decided to give up.

''Fine,'' I sighed,'' If you so desperately want to be a prick, go ahead.'' His face showed no emotion, like I was talking to a wall. ''Next time, don't be late,'' I finished with dignity and walked away with my head high. I probably looked like a peacock. I half-expected him to yell something 'funny' after me but he didn't. Ha!

**8.00 p.m.**

I just got back from my Quidditch practice with Albus. I don't play Quidditch, I'm just keeping company to Al while he practices. I _did_ try to play once but it was that moment before I crashed into our backyard rhododendrons that I decided Quidditch is just not my sport. Since Al is a Chaser, I pretend to be the Keeper but I guess it's not really the best practice for him, considering the fact that I'm absolutely terrible. That's why people can't really accuse me for helping the opponent. I actually can't believe we're still doing this. We started in the first year when we didn't know many people and we somehow never stopped meeting here once a week. Yes, that means more than five years of weekly workout in making a complete idiot of myself. Still, today it was Al who was behaving odd. We were sitting on the field, relaxing after the practice (Al scored 47 goals and I scored one, by falling through one of the hoops) when he said, ''Hey, Rose. That friend of yours, Amanda or something, she's a pretty good Quidditch player.''

I raised an eyebrow. ''Um, Al,'' I replied, ''her name is _Amy _and she's been on our team for the last three years.''

''Yeah, so?''

Boys will remain a mystery forever.

I gave him a questioning look but he just stared right back at me so I shrugged and said, ''I'll tell her you said so.''

''Oh, no. You really don't have to,'' he retorted quickly. ''I mean, unless you want to. It's fine if you do.''

''Everything alright, Al?'' I asked, rather concerned.

''Of course it is,'' he ruffled his hair, smiled nervously then realized he looked stupid so he calmed his face and stood up. After that little show he concluded it was time to get back to the castle. That was strange, don't you think? I should keep an eye on him.

**Monday, September 20th**

**7.05 p.m.**

A funny thing happened today. I was having lunch with Amy, chatting normally, when all of a sudden Johnatan appeared. He said hello and I said, ''Hlghg.'' I had my mouth filled with corn. He looked at me curiously and I reached for something to drink. Amy distracted him until my mouth was free again. ''So, I heard the Slytherin team has been seriously jerking off lately,'' she said casually and I nearly choked on my juice. I spattered it back into the glass (mostly) and they both looked at me incredulously. I just smiled at them, wiping my chin.

Amy had later explained to me that by 'jerking off' she meant they were acting like jerks on the Quidditch field. Whoever wrote the vocabulary in her world got some facts seriously mixed up.

Anyway, after this rather embarrassing scene I asked Johnatan if he needed something and he said he was in love with me! Ok, he didn't say it exactly like that. Actually, he didn't say anything even close to that but a bit of independent divination never killed anyone. What he _did _say was that he believed me and would like for us to try again. I, of course said _yes _and we agreed to meet next Saturday. I decided to show more maturity this time so I won't make a big fuss about it. It's just a date anyway.

**7.20 p.m.**

Oh, I can't NOT make a fuss about it! It's marvelous! Yes, yes, three times yes! I'll even throw a hip hip hooray in there! I knew he wasn't done with me! It was clearly my charming personality that intrigued him so much. He simply couldn't resist me. Possibly.

I'm so happy I even made a little dance around the room. Which reminded me I shouldn't dance around the room (_especially_ with eyes closed!) because I WILL bump into something (Amy's closet).

Oh, great, now a bunch of stuff fell out of it.

**7.25 p.m.**

It's a box with some letters in it. I have never seen it before. That's curious. But I won't read them, of course. What kind of a friend do you think I am?

**7.50 p.m.**

Sweet Merlin and his sparkling beard! The most amazing thing has just happened. I can't even... This is... Oh, I'll just tell you. Respecting Amy's privacy and all, I decided not to read anything. BUT THEN, my wand accidentally fell out of my pocket, cast a spell on the top letter so it opened in front of me, totally not by my fault. I took that as a sign to read it AND IT WAS WORTH IT! You see, those were the letters her ex boyfriend Callum had sent her over the last year, when they were still together. When I started reading I thought, ''Well, this is kind of funny'' but the more I read the more hilarious the whole thing became. As I gathered from what I read, he called her Snookibear and she called him Grizzles. I wonder where their obsession with bears came from.

As I don't have Amy's side of the correspondence I didn't catch everything but I know they spent at least 50 000 bloody hours by the Great Lake, stargazing and 'connecting' with each other and the nature.

Uh-huh! He wrote her a song! Do you want to hear it? Yes, you do.

_Your love is_

_enchanting_

_like the worms in the ground_

Well, if this isn't top poetry, I don't know what is! I could only dream of having my love compared to worms (they _are_ the most enchanting of all the animals, after all). This is too good to be true.

**8.05 p.m.**

THEY PRINTED EACH OTHER'S NAMES ON THEIR UNDERWEAR! Hahahaha!

**8.20 p.m.**

I never thought someone did this sort of thing. I mean, they went to the same school, they saw each other every day, what more could they possibly have had to say to each other?

Actually, it seems that Grizzles had a lot to say about Snookibear's ankles, three full pages of ankle-prose, to be precise.

And what kind of a nickname is Grizzles, anyway? Did she mean Grizzly bear? Why would you call your boyfriend after a Grizzly bear? They're big and really, really hairy and...

Oh.

Well, that explains why he never wore shorts, not even in summer. Still, it doesn't explain why she sometimes referred to him as Snakey (yes, there were a few transcripts of their _actual conversations_). What do snakes have to do with anything? Snakes, snakes, what could she possibly have meant by that?

Oh, no. Nononono! It was his trouser thingy! Aargh, the images in my head! Get out, get out!

**8.35 p.m.**

I'm scarred for life.

Why didn't she put a protective spell on the stupid box and spare me the horrible truth? I have a strong urge to rub my tongue with soap. And you know what else? Callum has a big hairy snake and I will now think about it every time I see him! Aargh!

**8.40 p.m.**

A trial has been held (in my head) and it was decided that I will not mention any of this to Amy. I'm taking this secret to my grave. Amy will return from Quidditch in five minutes and I will act like nothing unusual happened, as if I haven't found her badly hidden and painfully sappy love letters which made me gag a few times and laugh a bit more. My mouth is shut about the whole subject, from now until eternity. It will not be brought up again, for as long as I live.

**8.53 p.m.**

Amy walked in the dormitory, threw herself on the bed and sighed exasperatedly. I must say I was concerned so I asked the most reasonable question.

''Tough practice, Snookibear? ''

Oh, no.

**9.30 p.m.**

Amy is one fierce woman. She didn't find it funny at all and went completely ballistic. It was quite entertaining. When she was yelling and screaming things like 'haven't you ever heard about privacy?' and 'you just had to go and read it, you nosy monster!' and also a bit of 'I'm never talking to you again, you prat!' I kept staring at her feet. Finally she shouted, ''Just what are you looking at?'' and I gazed up at her dreamily and said, '' I don't know… It's just… Your ankles, they're making me crazy! ''

And then she lost it. She nearly suffocated me with her pillow. I was lucky Jemma and Flo came into the room so Amy had to suppress her urge to slaughter me.

**10.00 p.m.**

Snookibear was sighing and pouting in her bed when I approached her. I curled up next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. She made the pouting face again.

''Amy, mate, I'm sorry I read your _letters d'amour._'' She looked at me in a way that made it obvious she was a dimwit. ''It means love letters, keep up.'' She went pouty on me again. ''I really am sorry. And if is' of any consolation, I think they were quite nice'' Mental note; cut down with lying. ''Also, I'm sorry the charm on your underwear was forever irreversible as a symbol of your everlasting love. '' I said in a light, cheerful tone and when I nearly burst out laughing in the end, well, that was a sign of pure joy! I can't believe Amy still had the nerve to kick me out of the bed.

**11.45 p.m.**

Ha! I did it! Snookibear is talking to me again. But she made me tell her one of my secrets in order for her to forget my 'stabbing in the back' and try to forgive me. She's so full of shit, I know. But still, I told her about the whole thing with Malfoy and detention, just to make her happy.

Now, you probably thought she already knew but it's just that I was always too ashamed to tell her and it never seemed like a good time to casually slip it into conversation. Also, I knew she would make fun of me. And she did. She went completely over the top with laughing at the moustache part.

But if I put that aside, it was quite a relief to tell that story to someone other than you. No offense Jamie but you aren't really the most talkative one. Which doesn't mean I'll stop writing here, don't you worry about that. As a matter of fact, I find it quite relaxing. Hmmm… maybe this means I should become a writer! Yes, leave Hogwarts and start wandering across the country in search of adventure. I'll ask Snookibear what she thinks.

Huh, she was asleep. She really does get quite cranky whenever I wake her up. She should appreciate the fact that I even care about her opinion in the first place! Anyway, she told me to quit talking nonsense and then she used inappropriate language but the point was that I should go to sleep.

Well, that was a downer. She has just shattered my lifelong dream.

**Friday, September 24th**

**3.20 p.m.**

Homework is really starting to pile up. It seems that I hardly do anything else besides school stuff these days. It's all about tests and essays and potions and herbs with annoyingly complicated names. I even considered sleeping in the library but the chairs are too uncomfortable. Besides, they have this silly rule that students are not supposed to sleep in there.

**9.00 p.m.**

I regret my words. This quiet life, I just realized, has been truly pleasant. I didn't appreciate the peace enough so karma got her revenge on me in the form of Scorpius Malfoy.

I went to the library to study and when I walked in, Malfoy was sitting at my table. Yes I'm one of those people who always study at the same table. As he didn't look up when I entered the room he was rather startled when I punched him in the shoulder.

''You are sitting in my seat, '' I told him, placing my hands on my hips.

He looked around and shrugged. ''I don't see a sign saying 'Property of Loser Queen' anywhere. ''

''Very funny. Now please go sit somewhere else. ''

'' Wait, you're _serious_? There's literally no one else in here. You can sit wherever you want. ''

That _was_ true. But I'm also one of those people who hate changing their routine. That's why I wouldn't give up. ''I know I can, '' I said, ''but I always sit here. '' And as soon as the words left my mouth, I realized, he must have known that! Of course, he knew and sat there on purpose.

''Oooh, I can't believe you, '' I sneered at him.

''What? Are you alright? '' he actually pretended he was confused! How sweet.

''You can stop acting,'' I grinned. ''I know you did this whole thing on purpose so that I would talk to you. It's rather endearing but really, I need this table.''

''You're truly mental,'' he shook his head. ''Look, I'm not going anywhere and you can do whatever you want about it,'' he turned one page of the book he was reading. Not two seconds later he looked up again and said, ''Just don't sit in my lap. It would seriously ruin my appetite and I heard we're having pudding for dessert.''

I rolled my eyes and he smiled, satisfied, before starting to read again. I really tried to walk away but my inner competitor decided to take over. I plucked the book out of his hands and threw it on the other table. ''Ha!'' I exclaimed cheerfully, crossing my arms over my chest. He gazed at me for a few seconds before stating, ''There is something seriously strange going on in that oversized head of yours.''

I bet he thinks he's incredibly smart and funny but he clearly isn't. Stupid arse.

''At least there's something actually _happening_ in my head. We can't exactly say the same about you, can we?''

He opened his mouth to say something but had no chance because Mrs. Goldberg, the librarian, appeared behind the shelves, like a ninja.

''You two. Leave immediately!'' she said firmly. ''You're distracting the other students.''

As I have mentioned before, there was no one else in the library. Malfoy and I looked at each other and smiled simultaneously but then Mrs. Goldberg hissed at us again so I apologized and went for the door. Interesting fact. For the second time this month I have been told off by a member of the school staff and all because of Malfoy. Can you see a pattern here? Unfortunately, this obviously wasn't enough for The Great Moron himself. As I marched through the hallway, he called after me. I hesitated but finally turned around and waited for him to come closer.

''What do you want? '' I snapped at him, impatient and annoyed.

''Oh, I just wanted to let you know I hope you're happy now,'' he stated, pulling a piece of parchment out of his pocket and crunching it in his hands.

''What was that supposed to mean? I frowned. ''This was clearly all your fault.''

''Oh, was it really?'' he raised his eyebrows. ''It may come as a surprise but I am convinced it was you who made a whole show about a bloody seat in the library,'' he shook his head as if unable to believe my behavior.

''Oh, sod off,'' I huffed and started walking again. He followed me.

''Why was this so important to you anyway?'' he looked at me sideways. ''Are you one of those control freaks?''

''Not that it's any of your business,'' I retorted, ''but that's the only place where I can completely concentrate. ''

''Control freak it is,'' he concluded and by then we reached the front of the Great Hall. As he opened the door I rolled my eyes once more and we both walked in, went to the Ravenclaw table and then separated to join our friends, not glancing at each other or even saying goodbye.

I told Amy about his stupidity over dinner and her brilliant comment was: ''I liked the part with the Loser Queen.'' My mouth fell open. As I gasped for air, she continued, ''Uh-uh! And the one with sitting in his lap too! That was quite ingenious.''

I smacked her on the head. It had to be done.

**1.00 a.m.**

And my head is by no means oversized!

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**A/N: I hope it wasn't as bad as I think it is. You are more than free to review and give a bit of constructive criticism. **


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